Today was a good day, an odd day... I ate good throughout the day, had a good meal for supper with a few treats after dinner (not binging or overeating though since they were within my daily points), but I didn't know if I was going to make it. I had been at my bf's place for dinner and after supper I found myself thinking about eating, and how I had to go get gas and water before I went home. This was to be done at the Irving gas station. If you aren't familiar with Irving, they have an amazing bakery section, which I thought about for at least an hour prior to going to the gas station. It is my kind of food too, lots of chocolatey, cakey dreams. And this is where I question whether this is a sugar addiction because I during this hour, I was feeling like a smoker might feel when they crave a cigarette, I had to have something.
So I went over, pumped my gas, headed inside, straight to the bakery section where I spent probably 4-5 minutes just looking, picking up different squares/treats which I might have. And I was salivating at this point. But perhaps I was able to overpower Ed or I just lost interest, but I wasn't convinced that these things were fresh, therefore do I really want to do this on something that won't be worth it? Maybe I was looking for an excuse not to get something, but I left with just my water and my gas. Now that I'm writing this, I'm reliving the feeling I felt about needing to have something, but I'm writing from bed, too tired to indulge in anything, so I will call this a success, although I want something right now, but my tiredness is saving me.
I am worried about going out for dinner tomorrow night with friends, hopefully I can make it through dinner without stressing over restricting myself and eating a dry salad, and mad at them for eating "real food".
So this was my 3rd day. Here's to day 4, going into the weekend.
Have a good one!
xo
*N
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Hey great job today! Especially going to the bakery like that and having to actually go past the chocolatey stuff and not get anything, that's really amazing, I'm super proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about feeling like a smoker needing a cigarette; that is exactly what I'm like when I'm craving stuff, I'm a sugar addict and I feel like I have to have a fix. People don't realize how addictive sugar is, it is just like a drug, and how eating it can form a dependency exactly the same as a drug can.
When you go to dinner with friends why not just order something healthy but satisfying and tasty, like a salad and veggies and some fish or chicken, that's what I do, and then you feel full and sstisfied. Congrats on day 3!
I'm on day 7 again today, and it's going well. I cooked myself a big pot of veggie soup and I am a damn good cook if I do say so myself, lol! I was thinking about how to beat my sugar addiction, and I decided that from now on I am going to bake healthy treats for myself with whole-grain ingredients, pure foods, just good unprocessed healthy food that is still a treat, and have them when I feel a desire for them and that should be a good substitute for the sugary chocolatey stuff, and that way I won't feel deprived because that sets me up for binges too. Eventually, the goal is to wean myself off sugar and get out of the addiction.
I really feel for you, having to deal with all the treat food that your parents have in the house all the time. I could not do very well resisting my addiction if I had that stuff around. Well, it IS around, sometimes, because my boyfriend eats it and I have to watch him eat it, but not as much stuff as your parents have. He was eating chips the other day and it was like torture for me. But I think if I have healthy options to choose from, I will be on the right track.
Cheers to day 4 tomorrow! :) take care, love April
Good luck today! Here's to day 4!
ReplyDeleteYesterday was an odd day for me as well. I wasn't feeling well most of the day, so I ate very little all day. Then, my friend asked me to go out for supper. We went to a place that serves the most amazing crepes. I had a reasonable one...chicken, veggies and cheese....I felt guilty about the cheese. Then I split a 1/2 a desert crepe with my friend...so, really a reasonable amount of food. I did not binge or over eat. BUT...I got home, and felt guilty...and purged. _sigh_ So close!!
I have decided that I'm going to get a referral to a dietician rather than seeing my friend about it....mostly b/c she's away for 6 weeks in the summer...and that's just not goona work.
I'm gonna call my doctor today to get that referral.
Good luck guys! We're at the weekend...the scary time.
Oh dear, what a day. I went out to lunch with some co-workers...over ate...came home to purge....went back to work.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, bought a pizza, 4 squares from a bakary....ate half of both things...then purged.
Wow, I feel nasty now :(
hey N, hope the weekend is going well for you! try not to get too bogged down in homework; I know it's hard. I'm doing pretty good, today (Sunday) is day 10 for me so I'm happy with that. Ok well take care, smiles and best wishes for you :) oh and check your Facebook, I added ya as a friend xoxo
ReplyDeleteI've so totally been there!!!!! Exactly almost! How did it go? Don't feel bad if it was bad, it's one of the weirdest situations socially to go thru with Ed. Besides maybe family dinners....
ReplyDeleteI used to live in front of an Irving.... I still get triggers every time I pass one. Sometimes I win sometimes I don't.
ReplyDeleteThanks April, day 7, thats amazing! I hope you made it through the weekend ok.
ReplyDeleteIt turned out I didn't go out to dinner Friday night, we ended up getting some snow on Friday and the roads were too bad to go anywhere so I ended up staying in instead, but that was fine, I wasn't feeling bad about it or anything.
I am so proud and happy for you, you sound so motivated and like you are doing really well. I think I've said it before but thatnks for using the word addiction because people who don't do this don't understand that it IS an addiction, but everyone who comments and emails me seems to get it.
JJ, that's so close! I say all the time it's all about baby steps so while you did purge after your dinner, recognize that you were able to make it through a meal and eat food like a normal person (please don't take offense to my using the word normal, I am not even sure what that means anymore).
ReplyDeleteHow did it go with your doctor for the referal?
JJ, I'm sorry to hear about your day, it sounds aweful *hugs*
ReplyDeleteHow was your weekend, did you fare any better?
xo
April, Day 10, that's so awesome, good for you girl. That's a long time, you can do it!
ReplyDeletexo
Hi Sunyata
ReplyDeleteThanks for getting in touch, I published some of your other comments but couldn't find which posts they were in response to :)
Would you care to share a bit about yourself? How do you deal with this? For how long? If you aren't comfortable posting it, feel free to email me privately...
Hey guys. My weekend was rought, but had some high points...mainly that I reached out to some friends and asked for some very specific things....
ReplyDeleteLast night I went to a hockey game and had 1 serving of fries and one ice cream. Felt zero guilt and zero desire to purge. Now THAT feels good :)
JJ, that's gerat that you reached out to your friends, I'm sure having their support will be a big help for you.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to here you ate those things without guilt and purging, that is a major step! :P)