Here I go again, I hope I'm not premature but I think I've survived another day. I managed to bring my food to school with me, but I found myself in the cafeteria this afternoon just looking around (BAD habit) and I realized I wanted something chocolatey to satisfy my sweet tooth. Now I hadn't budgeted for this and I left empty handed, but then when I went to sit down I thought "this is deprivation", so I made a deal with myself that I could have half a chocolate danish that I have had my eye on all year from Tim Hortons in lieu of the popcorn I was saving for later and dipping into 3 of my weekly points. I was conflicted over whether to buy it because I am not a big fan of TH anymore since they have gone to frozen goods and they always looked so dried out but it looked so inviting. So I bought the chocolate danish, picked up a plastic knife and cut it in half, and get this, put the other half back in the bag, for consumption at another time! And I didn't feel guilty OR deprived. I felt satisfied. Wow! What a feeling. So I feel like this was a big step for me today because I could have easily eaten it all in one setting *pat on the back*
Other than that, I had a really good day. I should probably have been feeling more stress due to 2 urgent deadlines on Thursday but I guess crunch time will be tomorrow. So I do not have a reason to binge today. I am feeling good about tomorrow too.
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a new dog, how exciting, i'm sure that will keep you busy.
ReplyDeletePlease don't give up JJ, you are stronger than this! Have you been meeting with anyone yet?
April, I'm sorry you had a bad day, it doesn't sound like you met with anyone today, did that fall through? How goes the job search?
ReplyDeleteYay. Good job today!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been seeing someone..but we're focusing on what happened in my past to cause my Ed and depression...so, it's a slow and painful process. _sigh_ but it's the right one for me!!
April...be strong. I TOTALLY know what you are going through...really, I do, but I learned the hard way....the professionals don't judge you. You are safe to ask for help from them!!!
Thanks JJ!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm proud of you for getting the help. I know it seems slow and painful but I know once you understand how you got to this point you will be better prepared to fight this! It's all about the feelings and emotions according to ~M~
xo, be strong girl!
Wow N, amazing job today, I'm so proud of you! you can SO do this, and don't feel bad if you fall either because it's all a process.You are going to do great :)
ReplyDeleteThanks JJ, you are right, it is totally safe to ask for help. I know what you mean; I had problems in the past that caused depression and the ED, I did get counselling for the depression a few years ago and had great success and now it's time to fight the big bad beast...sigh (the ED).
Yeah, well, I was going to go today but I ended up bingeing... and the day just got worse from there. Not a good day, but tomorrow's a new day. I want to say I will go tomorrow, but I KNOW I'm going to feel like shit and I want to go on a day where I'm not in a sugar-induced brain fog, you know? Ugh, I hate this. Job search is going well, but seems like no one is hiring right now. I'm sure they will soon though :) well, time to go get some sleep so at least I will be rested tomorrow. here's to a new day :) love April
Day 1 = success :)
ReplyDeleteYesterday wasn't perfect, but it was good. I ate only what I planned plus 3 mini choclate bars. So, all in all, I'll call that success. YAY :)
On to day 2.
How did you guys do?
jj