Hello
I have for the most part made it through the weekend. Friday night I went for dinner to this new Greek place in the city. I was nervous going because I couldn't find the nutritional value on their website, which often keeps me from going to restaurants when I can't calculate points. But I went, after some back and forth of going and not going, but it turned out to be ok (I had lethal garlic breath for the weekend but I survived).
Yesterday was a success because I had a part for this volunteer group I work with and despite the temptations (cake, donuts, muffins, chips, sweets etc), I SURVIVED! And I even had a small piece of cake! With no guilt! Just a little piece, and I lived to tell about it, who knew?!? And I didn't feel like I was depriving myself either. Wow, what a feeling.
Having accumulated "points" throughout the week, I was in the mood for ice cream last night, so dammit, I got ice cream, went for the treatzza pizza again, it was so yummy (no guilt!).
Then today was pretty good, had another hot breakfast (two days in a row!) and ate relatively good throughout the day. I fell a bit this afternoon at school when the cafeteria closed early and put out free Timbits next to where I was sitting. I ate ALOT of them (14!), but in spite of this, I don't feel like it was a binge, I overate, I felt like I gave myself permission. I don't feel great about this but it could have been worse, I just won't have leftover treatzza pizza tonight. I am not going to punish myself without supper because that's what he wants me to do. So today I overate, I did not binge.
But today is day 14 for me! And I feel great! I thought I might reward myself with weighing myself today, but I think I will reward myself by NOT weighing myself. ~M~ said it good when I saw her the other day when she said "why let a scale dictate your self worth when you feel good?" If I am feeling good, why risk feeling bad for the sake of some metal and numbers? Perhaps I will weigh myself eventually, but not today and hopefully not tomorrow. This has even been my 14th day NOT on a scale, two things to celebrate I guess. 14 days, two weeks, wow. Maybe I can go 21 days (3 weeks!) But don't want to get ahead of myself (he thrives on cockiness). So one day at a time. I have had a good day, a good week. I feel great about myself and don't want to jeopardize it with a binge. I do not need to binge.
JJ, you aren't doing good? How was your weekend? What about Simply for Life?
April, can I see your blog? I would love to see what you're saying! I could post a link on my site if you wanted.
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I went to my parent's house for the weekend...which is always rough. I still have two younger brothers liveing at home, so there are LOTS of treats around. I didn't have a good weekend, but it could have been worse I guess.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling strong for tomorrow. I'm going to get up really early at hit the gym...that use to make me feel sooooo good.....working out before going to work for the day.
I'm so proud of you N for doing so well!!! Keep going!!!
jj
Ugh, well I know how hard the parents can be, I'm sure two teenage brothers don't make it easy (they are a breed with no regard for nutrition). That's great that you got to spend some time with your fam though!
ReplyDeleteHitting the gym before work! I admire that! While I do like to work out in the morning before classes I can never do that when I'm working, it's too early for me to get up (and it doesn't hurt that I don't have classes until noon), kudos to you!
Thanks so much for your support, JJ! My mom gave me a big hug the other day and said she can even notice a difference in how I carry myself around the house (and she doesn't really know about my "sobriety" day counting... so it feels good to hear encouragement. Which I will pass onto you: I know you can do this, if I can, anyone can! And remember to seek comfort in your bible when you are feeling down because I seem to recall you talking about that before? You can do it girl!
xo