Survived another day! Didn't make it to the OA meeting tonight since I had other plans for the evening, but I was feeling strong today. This is my 7th consecutive day :) I felt really good today, and by that I mean I felt happy, I feel like my head is out of the clouds again (which seems to be where it goes when I'm binging). I feel like my head is clear and I am feeling emotionally and mentally better (but again I've said this before and this seems to be when I fall). So going into tomorrow and the weekend I am going to have to be on my game and be sure to check in with my feelings so I can see them spelled out for me.
I am slightly worried about going to work tomorrow, I have a feeling there will be temptations :( but in anticipation of this I am going to go into work with my game face on.
How did you make out today?
xo
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Good for you!! Keep your chin up tomorrow, you can do it!
ReplyDeleteI made out ok today. We went to wendy's to eat and I really didn't want to eat in public, but I did. I had the chicken caesar with half the dressing, no bacon and grilled chicken instead of crispy, and I had a diet coke to drink (of course). What I wanted to have was a huge burger and fries combo, wash it down with regular pop and a milk shake, then eat a frosty, then dispose of my meal in the bathroom if you know what I mean...but I didn't...
Great job! I'm so proud of you and happy that you are feeling better now! You so deserve to feel good like that.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about feeling like your head is in the clouds when you binge. I feel the same way, it's sort of a dull, clogged feeling and not having stable thoughts or emotions until I pick myself up and move on a few days later.
You know what, ironically lots of times when I have binged I noticed that it wasn't in response to a craving or stress, but when I felt invincible and "flying high" you know, feeling good about everything, and then I'd be like, ok I need to get some junk food, and then before I knew it I'd be pigging out. It was almost like feeling GOOD had triggered it...weird! But that happens often for me so I need to be constantly on the ball and remind myself that bingeing will not do me any favours. Planning out my meals seems to help.
I'm doing good so far. Cleansing is doing a fantastic job of taking my cravings away :) I hope I can continue doing well.
take care xoxo April
Adrienne, good job on going to Wendy's... I know how you feel about not wanting to eat in public, I'm guilty of eating in my car in the back of parking lots, not wanting to get "caught". I find I can't eat "healthy" in fastfood places because I get resentful and stressed out that I'm not eating all the "unhealthy" foods that I really want, but that's great that you chose the healthier choice over the altenative
ReplyDeleteThat's fantastic that you didn't go to the bathroom afterwards! Is that something you do a lot?
Thanks so much April! It's is so weird how when you start to feel so good is when you get cocky and almost feel like you're missing binging. It's so ugly and cyclical. I feel like I'm approaching the peak of the cycle, so going into the weekend I HAVE to be on my game.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. When you get to that point when you know it could be time to slip up, you need to be prepared to fight as in a battle; at least that's how I feel. Things like really keeping on track of your feelings and constantly checking in mentally with yourself to stay on guard. I know you can do it! Take it one day at a time :)
ReplyDeletexoxo April
I also feel guilty eating in public. I went to Wendy's myself the other week with my boyfriend and really didn't want to eat because I felt too fat and that I didn't deserve to eat especially where other people could be watching me stuff my face and get fatter. Ugh, horrible thoughts! I hate them. Anyways, I was hungry and it was lunchtime and I had a small chili and crackers and hot sauce and a diet Fresca to drink. I really wanted a cheeseburger and fries but didn't "deserve" to eat that. :( Oh well...sigh...on the upside I REALLY enjoyed the chili and was pretty happy that I'd made the healthy choice.
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