Regret. Guilt. Shame. Disappointment. All things that describe the morning after my binge. But anyone with an addiction could use these very words to describe how they feel the morning after their own moment of weakness. This is an addiction, it's my addiction. And I hate it, I hate myself for letting it be, I hate him for coming to me, why me?
I did not sleep well last night, I woke up several times, sad and disappointed. And I'm so tired. I woke up this morning for work, and my stomach feels so bad, I can still feel the food in there, 8 hours later. I had my cry last night before bed, which felt good. On the phone at 12:30 to my boyfriend. Why couldn't I have called him 2 hours earlier, this wouldn't have happened. Or would it?
So here I go, starting over (yet again). I made it 8 days before. Now I will strive for 9. Thanks, JJ. A long 9 days. 1 day at a time. Here I go.
xo *N
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Okay *N....reading your blog has been great for me. Today something you said stopped me from giving in to him. SOOOOOOO, I'm going to count my days with you. Today is day one for me too!!
ReplyDeleteHe almost got me at lunch time today, but I made it through. I made some bad choices today, but DID NOT binge.
So, here's to day one!!!
Congratulations, it sounds like your day was more successful than mine :( (see new post)... you will be one day ahead of me but tomorrow is the day. It has to be, I don;t know how much more I can take
ReplyDelete