Making 7 Days

Well I officially made my 7 consecutive days without binging, WOOHOO! It wasn't easy. Especially last night around 9pm when I actually picked up the peanut butter jar to smell it. I shouldn't have allowed myself to even do that, but I did, and I am proud of myself for having put it away without binging (and boy did I want to). So my next goal is to make it another 7 days, 1 day at a time. Having this successful week behind me, I feel equipped to do another. I almost feel like I am out of the zone (as in I don't necessarily want to binge, well at least for the moment). But I feel different. Although my desire to binge seems to have been replaced with another problem of controlling thoughts surrounding food, and what I'm going to eat next, when I'm going to eat it, how much longer until I can eat, what I have already eaten, etc. This is not good for my concentration as I have an exam tomorrow, ugh, and I have food on the brain. But food on the brain is probably better than foods on my face.

I am worried about Saturday night because I am going out for the evening to a dinner party where there are likely to be lots of tempting foods. I am conflicted at this point as to whether I should eat before I go, allow myself to indulge when I am there or what my course of action will be. But I am definitely worried about it. Being in a public environment though, I am likely to not binge, however that's not necessarily going to stop me from overeating, which is a concern for my diet plan at this point.

Other than that, I have obsessively planned out my next two days worth of meals (again, this is where the controlling part comes into play), but it does help (mildly) with the controlling food thoughts. I have 7 days until my meeting with my counsellor, if she wasn't so booked up I would probably try and see her tomorrow. I feel like I need someone to talk to, someone who gets it. Hopefully I can do this.

*N